Wine-taste the moment

It’s one of those days when you feel like you made a mistake at every crossroad of your life. Stupid crossroads.

I realize that I haevn’t written in ages. In a Funk? Down in the dumps? Muse on vacation? I don’t know. I was wondering why I was feeling like I was stuck in a place I didn’t want to be and started reminiscing and regretting all the path choices I’d made that got me here. Then I realized that one of the reasons I get annoyed and stuck in a rut could be because I’d forgotten what I’m passionate about. My blog used to be all about things I was passionate about. Both my loves and my hates. I couldn’t let myself down by letting my passions die out! I haven’t even checked out the crazy headlines on yahoo! in ages! I do remember one that made me laugh out loud – it was about Shah Rukh Khan applauding for another actor who’s supposed to be his rival. Oh gosh, stop the presses indeed!

We were at this family-friends gathering in one of the hill houses recently and it wasn't my usual comfort zone but the kids were playing cards so I sat down and played a few games and had fun. I was surprised that it was natural. So my aunt told me a story about how, several years ago, we were at a place like that and some of us wanted to drive back early because of some tv show (surprise surprise). On the way down, we had a flat tire and then we had to spend our time in the dark fixing it. She said that I was perfectly cool and un-irritated by the situation and she was saying how that's a good trait. Now, that surprised me because it sounded so out of character for me now. Then I wondered if maybe I was out of character now. I always thought that I used to be impatient, annoyed and angry as a teenager but maybe in reality I'm still all of those things in some way every now and then. I guess it's because when a passion I have for something dies out, I tend to forget it ever happened - tend to forget that it ever affected me and who I am. Once in a while, I'm brought face to face with things that remind me of recent past events that I'd locked away as soon as they were over (I have no trouble conjuring up the past. It's the recent past that I have trouble with). And everytime I'm made to recall a particular phase/happening, I wonder what else I might have forgotten and why. The reason things seem dull is because I'm probably not bothering/being involved too much in things happening all around me and I fool myself into thinking that nothing's happening! To be cliché about it and use phrases like "taste the moment" or "live for the moment", let me add my own. Maybe one ought to wine-taste the moment? Savour it while you can and get the full flavour - then you can either spit it out or enjoy it further. Because sometimes you get only a sip and then the bottle's gone.

The path of the river may not be as we would have liked, altered and thwarted by many a rock and tree. But it is as it should flow, helping all in its path to flourish.

Sketchbook link: Drinks like a fish and leaves

ps - I'm not an alcoholic.